Mekong Indochina 2008 pt. 2

I woke up on my hotel bed at roughly 9:30, a wicked 3 hours of sleep from the prior night's drinking. Thankfully I am pretty adept at avoiding hangovers, so despite being direly dehydrated, I was headache free. Throwing my hash gear on, I exited the hotel and found a local food establishment where I enjoyed a bowl of noodle soup for roughly 25 baht, picked up a giant bottle of water at a neighboring stall and then hopped over to the hash bus pick-up spot to get to trail.
Unfortunately a poorly written timeline in the event guide had about 30 of us waiting for a 10 a.m. bus that didn't exist. Not being sleepy anymore I continued to down water and sports drinks to prepare for my trail of choice: long.
There was a medely of trails available for different hashers. Each leaving at different times and each of varying lengths.
23k ball buster
13k long
8-9k medium
5k short (walker) trail.
Having spent so much of the previous night drinking into the morning, I knew I wasn't up to the ball buster, so I jumped on the long bus that arrived at 1 p.m. and was taken to trail in the middle of Old City Sukothai.
We were all handed bottles of water at the start of trail, the hares being informed by mismanagement that they would not have a water stop despite the incredibly hot and humid weather (think Atlanta in the summer). So, we took off into the jungle, following small animal paths past thorny vines and twisty trees. Bamboo spines hurt!
Clearing past the jungle we entered a massive stretch of rice paddies. Running along the dirt mounds that separated the fields, the clouds broke open and the sun rained down with an oppressive heat that left me cursing the hares for not having a water stop.
Then came the cows, large groups that liked to chase hashers as we jumped over electric fences to follow trail. It was amazing, it was surreal, it really just needed a water stop.
When I started getting a touch light headed, I knew it was time to slow it down. We were about 4k into trail and I paused on a grassy knoll trying to find the best way across the small stream (and enjoying a minute of shade). That's when it happened. I felt a strong shock that damn near made my legs collapse from under me. I had mistakenly stopped atop a knocked down part of the electric fence.
I warned the couple of hashers immediately behind me and crossed the stream, reverting to a walk for the next 5k. That fence drained me of almost all my energy, as well it should. The thing needs to stop cattle, right?
After leaving the rice fields and entering a small grouping of houses, me and my walking buddy turned a corner to see the most amazing sight, a water stop! While waiting at the On-In the hares got a call from one of mismanagement asking where they wanted the water. Not expecting such a thing, they immediately jumped in a car and picked a spot, getting the water there only 10 minutes before the FRB's of the long trail. Quickly downing several bottles I was then pointed in the direction of trail and told it was only about 3k more to the end. With my energy returning, I started out in a jog, before building to my previous running speed to the end.
All in all, it was a good trail that I wish I could have enjoyed a bit more.
Of course the on-in was another story. The beer was relegated to two taps where the Tiger girls were again dispensing. This led to an incredible back-up in the beer line. Combine that with a lack of enough post-hash snacks for the long and ball buster trail hashers and things got irritating for a lot of people.
Then circle.
The ice was lined up, about 10 blocks in all, side by side. This forced circle to be a giant oval with a mud pit for the center. The event runners had an incredibly difficult time keeping control of circle, if only because they spent time honoring themselves and people from their hash, but never opened it up to others. Combine that with the same hash song being sung over and over and over and over and over and over again, "Here's to ..., he/she/they are blue, they are hashers through and through, they are piss pots so we say, never get to heaven in a long long way..."
After about ten minutes of this, anyone who wasn't part of the group running the event simply felt ignored and left out. The Copenhagen hash contingent tried to liven things up, but got shut down by the circle master. One aspiring hasher ran in and put HIMSELF on the ice to try and bring some level of entertainment to the event only to be told, "Get the fuck out of my circle."
No humor here, circle was long, incredibly boring and quite frankly, sucked.
From what I hear, the mismanagement got an earful from many a hasher that night, which might explain why they were having dinner at their own separate table, away from the entertainment..?
The night did perk up though as after eating buffet style Thai food, several of the Pattaya hashers had gathered in a neighboring gazebo and, while not a circle, broke into many a great and unique hash song. It was lively, it was fun, it had beer!
Eventually we all got on the buses back to the Welcome site where the Tiger girls were set up to distribute beer. But, oh, wait! They were CHARGING now!?
50 baht again for a small plastic cup. Well, fuck this, was the sentiment among many a hasher and we all traveled across the street to 7-11 where we picked up large bottles of Chang Chang and Leo for 65 baht.
Of course, as time passed, the night went on, Tiger wasn't selling beer so they packed up and left and the groups dwindled down to about 10 hashers. We joined tables and once more turned on the still tapped Tiger kegs, eventually killing them. Again, not one iota of guilt after how much the event cost.
The next day was the hangover trail at a pool across from the original welcome site. This time the Tiger beer was free and we all indulged. There was food and you could get a massage for a couple hundred baht if you so desired.
Trail itself was literally a walk around the block. It was a giant bloody rectangle in the rain. I put on my feet shoes for this? Coming back to the pool area we ate and drank and were told to shut-up for circle.
Circle, for its own merit was better than the day prior if only for being short. Again, the only people recognized were from the event hosts and the same damn song was sung repeatedly.
Once circle was over, the Pattaya hash decided to hold their own circle outside of the pool area. Now things got fun! They obtained a tub of ice, sat around it and just belted out accusations and songs, passing circle around from one to another like a hot potato. They even gave me a chance to be circle master for a bit.
Now, remember Hasher Eliah, the guy from Asheville who pretended to be Canadian (British Columbia) for the entire bloody weekend? Well I got him on the ice and related the weekend's story to the circle of hashers. After the laughter died I mentioned that he wasn't named yet and if they thought it was a good time to name him. The pack said yes and started throwing out names. Canadian Bacon (it's not real), Mount Him, Fuck a Canuck, etc... Eventually Kunt Foo said "Mount Hee" (hee is Thai for pussy) and it stuck.
Sorry Ashville Hash, stole one from ya!
A gent from mismanagement came over to see what was going on and we invited him to sit on the ice, which he refused then left. I don't know, they just seemed ridiculously rude all weekend. Bah.
After the unofficial kick-ass circle, some of the Pattaya hashers found rides up to Chiang Mai for a post-lube hash the next day. I switched to another hotel where the traveling group was staying and after drinking and bantering over what was wrong with the weekend we called it a night.
Well, actually the guest house owner poked his head out and said that it was midnight and we were too loud, so we called it a night. Nice place though, and only 250 baht.

So, I did the math and the weekend cost me roughly 8000 baht after adding in the beer purchased (because, it wasn't always free), food and the extra hotel night.
That is just shy of $230. By far the most expensive hashing event weekend I have ever attended, not counting Betty Ford 2007, but that one was my own damn fault.
I hear next year will be in Burma. One can only hope that a different hash acts as event hosts and mismanagement, because I will never attend one hosted by the same people as Indochina 2008.