A Tale of 3 Hashes (The 3H club?)

I must say I like Penang, Malaysia.

Absolutely loads of hashes, great folks and the jungle trails are simply insane hill climbing treks that leave you completely winded on the way up and exhilarated on the way down.

I spent a week in Penang, starting out at a small guest house just across the beach from Batu Ferringi, then switching over to Casa de Gangreen, a fellow hasher with a guest room who invited me to stay over with his family for the rest of my time there.

I also parasailed, had the misfortune of having a jellyfish (more likely stray dismembered tentacles from one) go up the leg of my swimwear, and got to snap pictures of wild monkeys while in the Botanical Gardens.

While in Penang I also hashed with three (count 'em, 1... 2... 3! Ha ha ha!) hashes. The Hash House Harriets Penang , the Penang International Hash Hounds (or PI) and the Hash Kaki Penang (Penang's simplest hash).

In doing so, I managed to miss hashing with 3 other hash clubs. The PH4, Penang Men's Hash and the Seberang H4.

In fact, to hash once with every single hash in Penang, it would take the better part of a month, simply because many hashes run on the same day, at the same time. It's almost like Atlanta, but seemingly more competitive in regards to group splits.

In regards to my paid internet time, I will comment that every hash I went to went up into a jungle, up and around large hills (more like small mountains), crested the top, then went back down in some fashion. They were all A to A trails and there were no water stops.



Hash House Harriets Penang:

This was my first trail on the jungle island and due to my phone's clock being off (it seems to do that a lot lately), I was late to the start. The pack had taken off about 10 minutes prior and I quickly got trail instructions from the harriet who laid trail prior to my starting.

Oh, with no bag car and not knowing if the trail was A to A or not, I carried my backpack with me into the trees.

Within about 20 minutes my calves were burning, my water bottle was already halfway gone and my shirt was soaked. The intense jungle humidity combined with the extra weight of my pack and my not being used to hills was simply brutal. I did quickly catch up to some of the older hashers, but ended up doing most of trail with just one trail buddy after two others turned back.

Up, down and around, then up again, around some more and then down, trail was only 3k, but the amount of ascents kept things from going too quickly. Eventually, a harriet named Bibi caught up to us (she was later to start than I!) and we followed her in.

Food was cooked, chats were had, I ran into Crazy German again (whom I first met at Indochina) and I learned that in Penang, you have to pay for beer. Nope, it's not included with the run fee. But it is the cheapest beer in town at roughly a dollar fifty a bottle. Yes, beer in Malaysia is pricey compared to other Asian countries. I think it has something to do with the heavy Muslim influence here. Oh well...

Circle itself was a lot of fun. They had the requisite block of ice, with the added fun of them dumping cups of cold water on you when you weren't looking during the accusation.

They also like to sing, but they don't know that many songs. When I started singing one of the more common ones from the U.S., looks of glee ignited in the Harriets eyes and I suddenly became Song Meister for the evening. I was also made to promise to get lyrics out to hashers within the group for their own learning and singing enjoyment. Here ya go!

http://harrier.net/songbook/index.html



Penang International Hash Hounds:

This trail started out halfway up one of Penang's giant hills and only went up from there! The group this time was much bigger, numbering what seemed like around 80. They were also more into it with rugby socks, gloves and everyone (including me this time thanks to Gangreen) had water packs on.

Trail started out climbing up a concrete water drainage canal directly into the bush, which is where I spilt my first blood of the night ramming my knee into one of the steps.

Shaking it off, we started a small animal path up, up and up, following a paper trail that eventually led to a check. We split up looking for trail in all sorts of directions, myself going up and right into a thick mess of bush with lots of friendly pricks looking to say, "Hi!" with a couple other hashers.

Several minutes later, someone found trail straight right from the check and not wanting to give up the high ground, me and a couple other pushed one last time through the waist high shrubbery to another animal trail before cutting right. A few meters later, the FRB's were climbing up right past us, so we changed course and joined in the chorus line of hashers.

I could feel my calves on fire from the heavy ascent and my left hand had two bleeding fingers from grabbing onto sawgrass, then switching to something with spikes, but I could've cared less. Atlanta had taught me how to block off the superficial cuts and scrapes and it probably saved me a down-down later that night. Rock on.

Trail was this past Saturday, so it was longer, probably 6 or 7k. Normally not a tough time, but with the hills and trees it was brutal. Often times I would need to simply grab trees and vines and climb up the hill, often falling back down or sliding onto my stomach into the mud because my shoes had long lost their tread (I had been looking for a new pair since Europe).

Eventually we crested the hill and after one more drop on my ass (to which Love Lace told me, "at least you have cushioning!"), The three or four hashers in my midst had a straight clear path through the trees on relatively stable ground.

Picking up speed, I suddenly felt a sharp jab on the back of my leg, up near the knee. Then a couple steps later, again in my shin. I slowed down wondering what the hell I had stepped in thinking that a thorny branch was sticking me, when Love Lace slapped her upper arm and cried out in pain. O.B., a harriet in front of both of us yelled, "bees! RUN!" and we did, high tailing it past a couple other hashers and out of the area as quickly as possible before we could get stung more.

Funny thing about the bees in the Penang jungle hills. They are small, black, hurt like hell and I never heard them coming.

Eventually safe from maurading insects and catching up to other hashers we then started going down, down, down amongst the trees. Often times the way down was so steep (combined with a lack of tread on my shoes) that the best way to progress was to go George of the Jungle style and simply use smaller, flexible trees and jungle vines as a way to control an otherwise wickedly fast descent. Barring the couple times when I almost ran into trees covered in inch long thorns, this was absolutely thrilling! By the time I had made it almost down the hill, I had become a master of just swinging from vine to tree to tree to vine again. In most cases I simply jumped, leaving my feet to touch the ground again only after whatever I grabbed onto slowed my momentum enough to bounce to the next one.

This only failed me once, at the very end, when I lost trail, but knew it was within 50 meters up from the roadside, and I decided to just shortcut through the bush but grabbed a hold of an unsecure vine which left me to roll once and then crash into the back side of a metal shed. Creating an awesome WHAM! sound.

Unhurt, time for circle!

Food and beer were the same as before. The munchies were a proper dinner cooked by the hares, and beer you paid for by the bottle. The only beer included with the run price was the down down beer, of which I had a few.

You see, somehow my singing prowess (?) had gotten out from the previous hash two nights prior and I was called to sing again a few times. Eventually getting called into circle for my visitor down-down.

Knowing what they did last time (let's keep your shirt dry, they dumped it in the ice water the beer was in before placing it over me), I beat them to the punch, taking off my shirt, then dousing it in ice water before putting it on again, then sitting on the ice.

They poured ice water over me, to no effect.

Now what? Oh yes, insted of putting Alcoholiday on the ice, let's put the ice on Alcoholiday!
They had me lay on the ground, then lifted up the ice block and placed it on my chest/stomach.

I'd like to think I held it up pretty well, especially when they then poured ice water on me. Stories were told, I sang my song and drank my beer, then another before they finally took the ice off and I got up.

Asking the Harriets for help to get warm (to no avail!), I got back into circle and seemed to become the song guy again, though less to an extent of the hash before.

Very good fun, and the Penang International Hash Hounds is holding a weekend pre-amble to next year's Interhash in Borneo that is promising to be spectacular. They are even holding a Red Dress Run during the pre-amble. So if you're going to '10 Interhash, it very well may be worth it to include a stop over in Penang before hand!



Tuesday Kaki Hash:

Oh boy, this should be fun.

I dislike taxi's in Malaysia, they charge foriegners anywhere from two to three times as much for fares and they refuse to use the meter they are supposed to follow by law. Gangreen explained the why to me, but all that means is I guess I won't be taking taxi's anywhere.

I ended up several kilometers away from where I was staying as a result of wanting to check out the Queensbay Mall (Penang's largest). When trying to go back, no one would take me on meter, so I told them to fuck off and went to look for a bus.

Instead I found myself in the back side of a police boat yard. I explained my mishaps and one of the wrenchers offered to take me in to Georgetown on his motorbike. I graciously accepted, threw him a few ringit for petrol and jumped on, getting in touch with Gangreen to arrange a pick up at a major hotel so I could make the trail (sadly making us both late to start by quite a bit as a result).

When we finally arrived, we were about half an hour late, late enough that the hares provided us with a short-cut route to meet up with the others. So we SCB'd directly up the hill. A much shorter, but much steeper route. Having adjusted to the hill climbs that had slaughtered me earlier, combined with knowing we were chunking off a huge part of trail, it felt like a quick ascent to the top, backtracking on some bits to follow trail paper left by a couple other hash clubs that had been in the same area over the past week or so.

At the top we waited in some kind of makeshift Chinese playground/tea room until Gangreen's wife, Sex Bitch arrived, then together we followed trail down to the on-in.

Crazy German was there as well (he was at all 3 of my Penang hashes), but decided to try and cut trail short by going downhill at an earlier point and ended up on the wrong side of the island.

Food, beer, etc. It was a good meal, with dessert included!
The circle was held with ice, down downs were given. It wasn't as hard core as the nights before, but then again, the Tuesday Kaki Hash is Penang's simplest hash!
On-On!
Tonight I hash in KL!