Friday I drove into Chattanooga feeling pretty iffy, stopped at a
Fazzoli's for dinner, and decided to grab a hotel room and hopefully
recover some. Checked google and found out that Chattanooga's Choo
Choo H3 was running on Saturday. Thought about calling the hare up to
see if something was going on that night, but thought better of it.
Went to Walgreens, bought Nyquil (or the generic non-name brand
alternative), went back to the hotel and crashed... hard.
I woke up the next day around 9-ish feeling like complete ass. Got the
room for the next night and went back to bed. Woke up a little after 2
and figured I'd try and at least attend the hash.
Glad I did! I walked it, but by far the most shiggyriffic trail yet!
3 ticks, unavoidable ivy, it was nuts. There wasn't any paths to
follow, the trail of flour just kinda went in a direction...
regardless of whatever may be in the way. I'd have to say 90% of the
trail pre-beer check was out of a trailing stream. The rest wove in
and out of the surrounding jungle.
Since me and the 2 harriettes walked we were way behind and decided to
shortcut to the on-in (it was an A to A). We had been out for almost 3
hours and were quite ready to end.
Coughing up green wasn't really helping me either.
Nevertheless, the hare Sticky Banana laid an excellent trail.
RA Hugh Heifer did a great job, leading our small pack through circle.
He even had some interesting stories about one Cunter S. Thompson,
whom he ran into at Interhash.
Sticky Banana was kind enough to give me a Choo Choo bandana, so I
donated the remainder of my On-On Ale to the pack.
I'm back at the hotel now, about to crash again from half a bottle of
generic Nyquil. Need to call RU back, but it's almost midnight, so
I'll save that for tomorrow!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Deal or no Deal's Gap
Finally made it to my one big driving destination of the trip, Deal's Gap aka Tail of the Dragon aka US Route 129 S.
318 turns in 11 miles, an advisable 30 mph speed limit, no guardrails (just trees) and a whole lot of fun!
I got in around 8:00 last night, well after most traffic has passed through, only saw one bike cop. Going into the drive I almost laughed at the reduction in speed to 30 mph, but once the turns arrived I saw the wisdom. These roads aren't wide by any means and 90% of the turns are blind. There is a flow and rhythm to them though, so after I got my zen on, I was able to keep the Blue Demon Wagon in 3rd gear for all but a few of the curves, those happening to be 180 hairpins. I dropped into second, entered the turn at 25 and then pulled through around 35 mph. Lots of fun... I wish my car weren't full of everything because I know that weight is a hinderance. Oh well, can't win 'em all.
Hotels out here are expensive and since I'm already a good couple weeks behind on my imaginary itinerary, I've decided to only spent one night. Most camping is motorcycle only too... So, today I go back up the Dragon and then continue on down South!
I also seem to have picked up a cold somewhere in the past few days. Thought it was Springtime pollen, but Benadryl is being laughed at by my nose. The rest of me also feels slightly off. Need to find a drug store with some Dayquil... Hopefully I'll be over this by the next hash I run across, I also need to clean the Flabongo as a precautionary measure.
318 turns in 11 miles, an advisable 30 mph speed limit, no guardrails (just trees) and a whole lot of fun!
I got in around 8:00 last night, well after most traffic has passed through, only saw one bike cop. Going into the drive I almost laughed at the reduction in speed to 30 mph, but once the turns arrived I saw the wisdom. These roads aren't wide by any means and 90% of the turns are blind. There is a flow and rhythm to them though, so after I got my zen on, I was able to keep the Blue Demon Wagon in 3rd gear for all but a few of the curves, those happening to be 180 hairpins. I dropped into second, entered the turn at 25 and then pulled through around 35 mph. Lots of fun... I wish my car weren't full of everything because I know that weight is a hinderance. Oh well, can't win 'em all.
Hotels out here are expensive and since I'm already a good couple weeks behind on my imaginary itinerary, I've decided to only spent one night. Most camping is motorcycle only too... So, today I go back up the Dragon and then continue on down South!
I also seem to have picked up a cold somewhere in the past few days. Thought it was Springtime pollen, but Benadryl is being laughed at by my nose. The rest of me also feels slightly off. Need to find a drug store with some Dayquil... Hopefully I'll be over this by the next hash I run across, I also need to clean the Flabongo as a precautionary measure.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
mas y mas, Chicago
Well, I still can't keep up with all my happenings on a day to day
basis, so here's a summary of my last few days in the Windy City.
basis, so here's a summary of my last few days in the Windy City.
First off, thanks to my buddy Brett who I stayed with the majority of
my time in Chicago. I think he had fun at the hashes and I enjoyed the
walking tour of downtown Chicago very much.
On Saturday we attended the Second City hash, a more family friendly
environment where young'ns ran around and up until circle we contained
the language that usually accompanies hashes very well. It was a fair
length pavement pounder with some shiggy around the train tracks.
Outside of getting off the arrows a few times it was pretty simple
until the beer check where everyone just said , "Fuck it!" and we all
walked back to the on in (it was an A to A) together.
The beer was stellar with bottles of Sam Adams and even some home brew
which was a touch to strong to do a down down with, but great
otherwise.
Sunday (Sunday, Sunday) was an entirely different affair for Chicago
H3's Memorial Day weekend hash. I figure a good 50 people showed up,
many of us early to snag one of only 30 shirts that the hares had made
up and were giving away. Brett and I got there a good hour early and
we were only just in the top 10 (count...) of people who arrived.
I 'think' the bartender might have known that a running club was
starting there, but I'm 'certain' the sheer volume of us scared the
shit out of her!
So, as a misty rain began to descend over a warm Chicago we took off.
Told that there were 3 (count 'em...) beer checks on trail, I don't
know about the others, but I didn't expect a full 5 miles before stop
one. Mostly pavement with a nice stretch on wood chipped trail along
a river, it was done quite nicely with well placed checks and only one
really long straight section.
It also stands to note that I almost got in a fight as some VW driving
ass clown got all pissy at me over stupid shit.
me: (standing partway in street looking for trail after a check)
him: (making turn in car) "Hey!" (flipping me off)
me: "chill dude, my bad."
I hear someone blow their whistle and take off in that direction.
Turns out we're running down the same street this guy ends up parking
on.
him: (gets out of car and glares at me all evil like as he goes into a door)
me: (run past the door about 10 seconds later, stick my tongue out and
"pppphhhbbbbt!")
Turns out he was waiting just inside the door watching and waiting for
me to pass by! I don't really care...seemed strange, but whatever. I
keep running down the street with Uploader.
Behind me I hear the door unlock and open.
him: Want to do that again fuckwad?"
me: Nope, I think you figured it out already.
Uploader: What's his problem?
me: (explain above) he's a moron.
The guy proceeds to walk after me down the street for a few feet
cursing, but someone yells the Beer Check is not to far ahead so I
just dismiss the situation as him being an asshole who completely fell
for my playful antagonization. Yay me!
After the first beer check we headed (who said head?) out again,
running past a park and covering another two miles before the next
stop where beer and games awaited us.
We lined up in teams to play "Dizzy Bat" and spun/drunk ouurselves to
injury whilst competing for no real prize at all! (I'm serious about
the injury part as Just Eileen broke his hand falling and several
other hashers bloodied elbows or knees falling)
Another half-mile and we ended up in a very nice park by a softball
field for more beer and a very large game of Duck, Duck, Goose!
We played for a while and then took off for another half mile or so
before ending up at Virgin Banger and Rent A Virgin's place. 8 rockin'
miles in all, but it didn't feel nearly that far thanks to the games
and how the BC's were spaced.
As we go in the back gate we're greeted by a GIANT banner recognizing
the hash event and Goose Island's sponsorship (they donated 3 kegs!).
We circled up, did the usual she-bang (her-bang?) with one unusual
twist. When circle started to get a tad bit rowdy, the GM and RA
pulled out "The Cone Of Silence" which was placed on the loudest
person's head (wsh?) and remained there until they either shut the
fuck up, or someone else deserved it more.
Eventually we got to Swing Low, then we commenced to games and eating.
The food was amazing! BBQ and salad filled the plates, and the hares
took up a collection for a fourth keg as we drained the original
three!
The games, from Drinko (thanks Count Chocula!) to Cornholin' kept
everyone entertained and quite frankly it was a grand 'ol time!
We gathered together for a picture by the poster, and drank until we
were out of beer and the busses stopped running.
Oops...
Monday Brett and I tried to go see the Cubs game, but it was sold out
and the scalper prices were outrageous, so we went downtown instead.
Saw Buckingham Fountain (From the Married With Children intro), "The
Bean" (a unique and bizarre work of art) and shook the lactic acid
from our legs. I also got to see a mall with very nice carpeting on
The Mile, which was pretty cool. Oh, and Lego stores rock!
There was a lot I didn't get to do in Chicago that'd I'd really like
to, but the trip must go on! Just had a blast out there. Parking
sucked, but I had a blast. I'll be back someday after this trip.
Tuesday I drove to Indianapolis and met up with online buddy RJ, whom
I've known for several years online and met in person a few times at
Nintendo of America HQ and E3.
Had dinner with him and his fiancee, Kelly, watched The Big Lebowski
(The Dude abides.) and he gave me crash space for the night. A great
guy with a great gal, we played Mario Kart on Wii until close to 4 am!
I slept in today, woke up and RJ and I went out for lunch since Kelly
was at work. Afterwards he was kind enough to burn my pictures onto
DVD before I left.
Traffic hasn't been too bad today. Aimed for Knoxville, TN but only
got to Lexington, KY. Camping by the trains tonight, tomorrow I'll do
some laundry and if luck and time are on my side, hit Tail of the
Dragon in time to get a run in before nightfall!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Chicago - Day One-ish
Took a couple days to drive up here from St. Louis, camping overnight in Springfield, Illinois (adult home of Abraham Lincoln).
Thanks to traffic getting near the city, a two and a half hour drive takes almost 4 hours, bad enough that I almost miss my whole point for driving in the city on Thursday, the hash!
With little degree for traveling error, I find the start point for the Thirst-day H3. A small Irish Pub called the Hidden Shamrock where I quickly change clothes in the bathroom and have the bar hold my bag before jumping outside to hear chalk-talk and start the run.
It was a good 4 mile pavement pounder (pound her?) with several ridiculously long F's (falses) that left me feeling quite circle jerked many a time (in no way is that good...). Horn-E was a devious hare, somewhat 60 years old and not at all afraid to hang back at checks (dead trail) to point us in the right direction after we wandered like a pack of lemmings with no clue how to get to the sea (?).
Met a lot of great hashers and even had Princess Labia and Stump Humper be kind enough to offer me crash space in their extra room. Slept off the alcohol well and the next day we got to work on our own Drinko board (thank's for the idea Count Chocula!), getting some wood and nails (the wood got nailed?) from the hardware store then heading (who said head?) back to their place to draw a frickin' awesome drunk rabbit on it and plan out where to put the nails.
Then we met up with more hashers at Goose Island to nosh and drink authentic Chicago beer, where I got to meet up with long time internet bud Brett (aka Skitz, aka Immie and whatever handle he posts under these days -mammonman-).
We all hang out, have a good time, blah-blah-blah and then head off. Brett and I continue to another bar near his establishment of residence to continue drinking and the harriettes go home as one of them has a shit-ton of chores to do and the other has a 10 mile run the next morning.
Brett and I hang out and drink for the majority of the night, always staying in that comfortable zone of "avoiding the hangover next morning" with a careful distribution of food and water.
Friday was a good day (to die? ...that's not right.)
So it's Saturday morning, I crashed on Brett's couch last night. We're gearing up for the Second City Hash House Harriers run roughly 2:00 this afternoon. Should be fun, I've never brought a virgin to a hash I'm visiting. Who knows, Chicago may have a new (knew) hasher in the making. Cool!
Thanks to traffic getting near the city, a two and a half hour drive takes almost 4 hours, bad enough that I almost miss my whole point for driving in the city on Thursday, the hash!
With little degree for traveling error, I find the start point for the Thirst-day H3. A small Irish Pub called the Hidden Shamrock where I quickly change clothes in the bathroom and have the bar hold my bag before jumping outside to hear chalk-talk and start the run.
It was a good 4 mile pavement pounder (pound her?) with several ridiculously long F's (falses) that left me feeling quite circle jerked many a time (in no way is that good...). Horn-E was a devious hare, somewhat 60 years old and not at all afraid to hang back at checks (dead trail) to point us in the right direction after we wandered like a pack of lemmings with no clue how to get to the sea (?).
Met a lot of great hashers and even had Princess Labia and Stump Humper be kind enough to offer me crash space in their extra room. Slept off the alcohol well and the next day we got to work on our own Drinko board (thank's for the idea Count Chocula!), getting some wood and nails (the wood got nailed?) from the hardware store then heading (who said head?) back to their place to draw a frickin' awesome drunk rabbit on it and plan out where to put the nails.
Then we met up with more hashers at Goose Island to nosh and drink authentic Chicago beer, where I got to meet up with long time internet bud Brett (aka Skitz, aka Immie and whatever handle he posts under these days -mammonman-).
We all hang out, have a good time, blah-blah-blah and then head off. Brett and I continue to another bar near his establishment of residence to continue drinking and the harriettes go home as one of them has a shit-ton of chores to do and the other has a 10 mile run the next morning.
Brett and I hang out and drink for the majority of the night, always staying in that comfortable zone of "avoiding the hangover next morning" with a careful distribution of food and water.
Friday was a good day (to die? ...that's not right.)
So it's Saturday morning, I crashed on Brett's couch last night. We're gearing up for the Second City Hash House Harriers run roughly 2:00 this afternoon. Should be fun, I've never brought a virgin to a hash I'm visiting. Who knows, Chicago may have a new (knew) hasher in the making. Cool!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Chiggers and Ticks and Birthdays, oh my.
So, I'm sitting atop the arch in St. Louis, Missouri. The really
freakin' big one, I think you know which arch I'm talking about... and
well, it's really damn big!
Saturday I ran with the Little Rock HHH, a solid 5 miler (or so) that
involved at least 2 (possibly 3) brutal hills, waist high grass that
had everyone yelling, "Tick city!" and enough shiggy to shake a bushel
of sticks at. The big kicker is that the hare, Reveend Bob, had a
quadruple bypass about six months ago and a permeating ulcer the size
of a quarter... then ran a 50k... Seriously (wtf!?)
On afters were at a local Italian restaurant where I had an after
dinner birthday brownie and ice cream (yum!).
One more night at Who Flug Poo and Des My TuTu's place before I headed
(who said head?) out toward Memphis, Tenn.
A fairly short drive, I stayed long enough to get raped by ticket
prices at Graceland (35 dollars for a house tour and airplane?) where
I was one of maybe 5 people under the age of 40. Still, it was a nice
abode, but suprisingly small.
Afterwards I stopped by a local strip club figuring a birthday lap
dance would be fun, but left quickly as the ladies were just a tad
(read: frighteningly so) over-friendly. After the 5th one grabbed my
crotch and offered a 'private' dance, I left, hoping I didn't catch
anything by sitting on the bar stool.
High-tailed it out of Memphis for St. Louis, stopping overnight to
camp at a KOA.
Notes: I need to find a laundramat.
Arch is cool, want to run the stairs... wonder if they have a race
akin to the Empire State Building one.
Just asked, no.
Probably will camp outside the city tonight and catch a blues show,
aim for Chicago tomorrow? Indianapolis? Need to find out when they're
hashing.
freakin' big one, I think you know which arch I'm talking about... and
well, it's really damn big!
Saturday I ran with the Little Rock HHH, a solid 5 miler (or so) that
involved at least 2 (possibly 3) brutal hills, waist high grass that
had everyone yelling, "Tick city!" and enough shiggy to shake a bushel
of sticks at. The big kicker is that the hare, Reveend Bob, had a
quadruple bypass about six months ago and a permeating ulcer the size
of a quarter... then ran a 50k... Seriously (wtf!?)
On afters were at a local Italian restaurant where I had an after
dinner birthday brownie and ice cream (yum!).
One more night at Who Flug Poo and Des My TuTu's place before I headed
(who said head?) out toward Memphis, Tenn.
A fairly short drive, I stayed long enough to get raped by ticket
prices at Graceland (35 dollars for a house tour and airplane?) where
I was one of maybe 5 people under the age of 40. Still, it was a nice
abode, but suprisingly small.
Afterwards I stopped by a local strip club figuring a birthday lap
dance would be fun, but left quickly as the ladies were just a tad
(read: frighteningly so) over-friendly. After the 5th one grabbed my
crotch and offered a 'private' dance, I left, hoping I didn't catch
anything by sitting on the bar stool.
High-tailed it out of Memphis for St. Louis, stopping overnight to
camp at a KOA.
Notes: I need to find a laundramat.
Arch is cool, want to run the stairs... wonder if they have a race
akin to the Empire State Building one.
Just asked, no.
Probably will camp outside the city tonight and catch a blues show,
aim for Chicago tomorrow? Indianapolis? Need to find out when they're
hashing.
Also, thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. It's good
to hear/read it when I'm half the country away!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Little Rock
It seems that I've run across a huge contingen of artists here with
the hashers I've met in Little Rock. The combination of a house party
last night and the possibility of something to do tonight (not to
mention driving time and mileage) has kept me here through tomorrow's
hash. From what I gather, the hare (Reverend Bob) is notorious for
laying the most enduring shiggyriffic trail (think Berzerk Burke with
water moccassins and poison ivy) found in these parts. Last time he
laid trail they had a tick count at the end and K9 Jelly won with a
whopping 72 (9x8)! Should I be scared? meh.
The first couple night I was out here I stayed in a campground near
Hot Springs (boyhood home of Bill Clinton) and yesterday I took
advantage of the town's vicinity (about 45 min west of Little Rock) to
partake in a traditional bathhouse experience. It was pretty nice, hot
tub soak, steam room, body wrap and massage. All for 55 bucks, it was
a nice excursion, though I can't say I needed to relax all that much
as my trip has been pretty chill so far anyway.
Met a nice couple from Missouri at a bar down there. They were
celebrating their 1 yr. anniversary. Had some beer, shots, good times.
Last night (and it looks like tonight) I crashed at Who Flung Poo &
Tis My Tutu's place. A lovely married hasher couple who have been
nothing but friendly and inviting to me since my arrival. They have a
dog that's energetic to the point of "Whoa!" that woke me up by
licking my toes this morning. (?)
Looking forward to trail tomorrow, 10-15 miles is what I 'hear' but I
am not sure if that's a hare lie or not...
Friday, May 16, 2008
Fayetteville and a couple things
I'll get the couple of things out of the way first.
Number one: I need to blog more frequently, if only to stop the word
vomit I have when I try to post the past week of goodies in one shot.
I feel like I'm missing the gems because I try and cover everything.
Secondly, my tent kicks ass in the rain. Mot that it's all that
important to anyone who reads this, but it is nice to know as Arkansas
is pretty much a rain forest right now. Cooool!
Number one: I need to blog more frequently, if only to stop the word
vomit I have when I try to post the past week of goodies in one shot.
I feel like I'm missing the gems because I try and cover everything.
Secondly, my tent kicks ass in the rain. Mot that it's all that
important to anyone who reads this, but it is nice to know as Arkansas
is pretty much a rain forest right now. Cooool!
So, back to Fayetteville.Marcus, Beth and their son Hap (happy?) are
simply amazing people. They knew me from a whole in the ground, Beth
hasn't even hashed in ages, but they took me in, fed me, gave me a
place to crash and overall treated me like a family member.
I've never jammed with anyone, but lo and behold, Marcus and his buddy
Bart wailed away at the guitar while I did my darndest to follow along
on my harmonica and it was just great!
The next morning, Bart, Beth and I ran a 5.5 mile trail around Lake
Fayetteville. It wasn't a hash, but it could easily have held up to
one.
I feel that between Marcus and his family and Bart and his that I have
made some life long friends. I truly mean that, just amazing!
Following Marcus' advice and his and Bart's directions, the next day I
took the 'ol pig trail (route 23) down to Little Rock, camping
overnight at Redding campground. Lush green trees everywhere with just
the most amazing road to drive on. High speed twisties and wicked
switchbacks. It was a driver's orgasm to say the least!
The Little Rock Hump hash didn't run on Wed. That combined with my
getting incredibly lost meant I didn't hash. I'm a tad ready to head
(wsh?) up to St. Louis, but the hashers down there seem hell bent on
me staying until Sunday. Going so far as to hold a party tomorrow
(technically today) as a delay tactic. I'll have to see what Cunt For
Red October says when she calls tomorrow. Other than that, I'm camping
out near Hot Springs, plan on hitting the spa/bath house tomorrow.
This trip is taking longer in the US than I originally thought, but
that's not a complaint by any means. Can't wait to see what's next!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Retrofit: KCH3
Been pretty busy (for a trip like this, I'm often occupied) over the past week and hadn't really had time to write about my time in Kansas City.
I arrived on a sunny Thursday after spending an overcast Wednesday driving over the Kansas plains. Lots of grass, not too much else.
I stopped in a small town and checked out the Wizard of Oz museum. A younger version of me (before the update?) enjoyed the book, but the film was never really at the top as I've never been fond of musicals (though Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street wasn't half bad). I figured it would be worth checking out anyways, and it was to a point, but far too focused on the MGM film. Turns out Frank Baum wrote 14 Oz books, only the first of which was made into a successful film. The only other one "Return to Oz" bombed pretty bad because it was so dark (Ironically I liked the second film, and it actually did quite well in Japan).
I figured I'd camp outside of Little Rock the day prior, then come in on Friday to look for hashers, but lo and behold, Have Shit, Will Travel got me in touch with his son, Next Best Thing To A Penis Ring and like that (snap fingers here), I had a place to crash for the night.
Now, Penis and his wife, No Blow Joe, are brand spankin' new parents to a 5 week old, so they started firing out e-mails to other hashers with the hopes that I'd have later and more active nights than at their place.
I of course don't mind either way. As hosts for the night they were fabulous, offering beer and a downstairs room with a never-slept-in bed (great story about that!).
Turns out when Penis and No Blow moved into their house a few months back they asked Have Shit to pick out a bed for when he and the misses visits. He did, but hasn't made it back up to Kansas yet. So, I beat Have Shit to his own bed (drink a down-down to that!)!
The next morning, I hung out with Penis to watch over the youngin' while No Blow ran some errands. Then, upon her arrival we headed (who said head?) out to get some food and drink.
Our first choice was closed for remodeling, so we detoured over to Grinderz (featured on the food network as a top dive bar!) to grub and have some fine Kansas City brewed beer. Good food, good times, an ecclectic establishment with one hell of a backyard where they often have live music. I'm talking huge, this place was larger in size than most bars I've been to in Las Vegas. That's just the outside though, the inside was about as wide and deep as the first room at Freakin' Frog.
The next night I crashed at Hasher Jeremy's place, a friend of Penis and quite the cool dude. The next morning he went to his son's football game while I jumped in the shower, then headed (wsh?) to the hash.
KCH3's hare was Chief Horse Pussy, who laid a lengthy 4-miler over roads, down sidewalks, across grass fields, over small creeks and through the woods (where grandmother likes to play?).
It was a cloudy, overcast day with rain coming down like a light mist, hardly enough to be called rain but after the first mile you were drenched from it. Something like running in the clouds.
Two beer checks later we were charging in, shoes covered in mud, dripping from sweat and mist and an overall good feeling.
A few of us ran the half mile back to the cars, changed into drier shirts and less muddy shoes, then returned to Chief and Tiajuana-do-me?'s place for circle. We went through the standard practice of hares, dfl/frb (Lucky me, FRB!? First time on an away trail!), accusasions, birthdays and the like. The one major difference (and this is the first time I've run across it after a complete circle) was no Hash Hymn #1 (Swing low...).
Oh, and there were a pair of new shoes in circle, courtesy of Get Off, I'm Next (G.O.I.N.) who shoed (yeah, shoed, not showed!) up with these slip-ons that had individual toes. It was really strange, like a second foot to wear over your own (I'm jealous, I want a pair now...). After that trail, the Natty Light was probably more like Guinness going down (eww.).
We hung out for a while until it was time to go (feel better Tiajuana!), and several of us piled in and followed through now driving rain (driving in the driving rain?) to I Iz Ez's apartment, where we hung out for a bit before jumping in her boyfriend's car (hasher, can't recall his name at the moment, please forgive me.) and headed to a bar where we set-up shop and took over the dart board with pitchers of Flying Monkey Ale and some other beer.
From there we went back to I Iz Ez's place and chowed down on McDonald's and watched The Dark Crystal.
Some left, G.O.I.N. and I stayed as we didn't really feel smart to drive and Ez and her man went to bed.
A few minutes later in pops Give The Bitch A Ring (G-Bar) saying that she's needs to piss and when she's done G.O.I.N. and I need to come out with her, Ass Packa and Hasher Aaron (? could be wrong on the name). We politely decline until she offers to pay for our drinks. Ok, sure, I'll go!
We jump in a car and head to a gay bar (what is it with hashers and gay bars?) where G-Bar get's charged a cover (ha ha!). We go in, get beer and watch cross dressers fake sing Diana Ross and Celine Dion songs (?) and what-not.
We congregate upstairs which is all hip-techno-like, drink more and chat. None of us straight guys got hit on once while there. So I figure we're either really unattractive to gay guys, or we exude an aura of straightness that's like DEET for mosquitoes on gay guys. Doesn't really matter, I go to G-Bar for more drinks. She gives me a wise-ass line, I throw one back, she says, "you're not getting laid." and I say, "wasn't in the plan."
...later on she says she plans on molesting me.
...She's far too drunk to follow through, ha!
We all go back to Ass Packa and her boyfriend's place, they're in the middle of packing to move to Scottsdale, AZ (watch out Phoenix H3!) with G-Bar. There I kick major ass at Mario Kart Wii, then they pull out a mattress for me to sleep on. G-Bar's passed out on the couch, finding out the next day she slept in dog piss. Oops!
That reminds me, more cool hash dogs, Frida (Penis and No Blow's) and Brittney (Ass Packa's boyfriend's).
The next day we drive over to I Iz Ez's to pick up the cars, I get my phone which I forgot in Ez's place (thanks Ez!), I drive around town one last time, have lunch at Town Topic, then head down South to Fayetteville, Arkansas! (Which I gave the low-down on in my last post).
Today I arrived in Little Rock, Arkansas, and in about an hour I hope to meet with some hashers for their Hump Hash. Though it doesn't look like there will be a trail (should I offer?), at least there will be drinkin'!
I arrived on a sunny Thursday after spending an overcast Wednesday driving over the Kansas plains. Lots of grass, not too much else.
I stopped in a small town and checked out the Wizard of Oz museum. A younger version of me (before the update?) enjoyed the book, but the film was never really at the top as I've never been fond of musicals (though Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street wasn't half bad). I figured it would be worth checking out anyways, and it was to a point, but far too focused on the MGM film. Turns out Frank Baum wrote 14 Oz books, only the first of which was made into a successful film. The only other one "Return to Oz" bombed pretty bad because it was so dark (Ironically I liked the second film, and it actually did quite well in Japan).
I figured I'd camp outside of Little Rock the day prior, then come in on Friday to look for hashers, but lo and behold, Have Shit, Will Travel got me in touch with his son, Next Best Thing To A Penis Ring and like that (snap fingers here), I had a place to crash for the night.
Now, Penis and his wife, No Blow Joe, are brand spankin' new parents to a 5 week old, so they started firing out e-mails to other hashers with the hopes that I'd have later and more active nights than at their place.
I of course don't mind either way. As hosts for the night they were fabulous, offering beer and a downstairs room with a never-slept-in bed (great story about that!).
Turns out when Penis and No Blow moved into their house a few months back they asked Have Shit to pick out a bed for when he and the misses visits. He did, but hasn't made it back up to Kansas yet. So, I beat Have Shit to his own bed (drink a down-down to that!)!
The next morning, I hung out with Penis to watch over the youngin' while No Blow ran some errands. Then, upon her arrival we headed (who said head?) out to get some food and drink.
Our first choice was closed for remodeling, so we detoured over to Grinderz (featured on the food network as a top dive bar!) to grub and have some fine Kansas City brewed beer. Good food, good times, an ecclectic establishment with one hell of a backyard where they often have live music. I'm talking huge, this place was larger in size than most bars I've been to in Las Vegas. That's just the outside though, the inside was about as wide and deep as the first room at Freakin' Frog.
The next night I crashed at Hasher Jeremy's place, a friend of Penis and quite the cool dude. The next morning he went to his son's football game while I jumped in the shower, then headed (wsh?) to the hash.
KCH3's hare was Chief Horse Pussy, who laid a lengthy 4-miler over roads, down sidewalks, across grass fields, over small creeks and through the woods (where grandmother likes to play?).
It was a cloudy, overcast day with rain coming down like a light mist, hardly enough to be called rain but after the first mile you were drenched from it. Something like running in the clouds.
Two beer checks later we were charging in, shoes covered in mud, dripping from sweat and mist and an overall good feeling.
A few of us ran the half mile back to the cars, changed into drier shirts and less muddy shoes, then returned to Chief and Tiajuana-do-me?'s place for circle. We went through the standard practice of hares, dfl/frb (Lucky me, FRB!? First time on an away trail!), accusasions, birthdays and the like. The one major difference (and this is the first time I've run across it after a complete circle) was no Hash Hymn #1 (Swing low...).
Oh, and there were a pair of new shoes in circle, courtesy of Get Off, I'm Next (G.O.I.N.) who shoed (yeah, shoed, not showed!) up with these slip-ons that had individual toes. It was really strange, like a second foot to wear over your own (I'm jealous, I want a pair now...). After that trail, the Natty Light was probably more like Guinness going down (eww.).
We hung out for a while until it was time to go (feel better Tiajuana!), and several of us piled in and followed through now driving rain (driving in the driving rain?) to I Iz Ez's apartment, where we hung out for a bit before jumping in her boyfriend's car (hasher, can't recall his name at the moment, please forgive me.) and headed to a bar where we set-up shop and took over the dart board with pitchers of Flying Monkey Ale and some other beer.
From there we went back to I Iz Ez's place and chowed down on McDonald's and watched The Dark Crystal.
Some left, G.O.I.N. and I stayed as we didn't really feel smart to drive and Ez and her man went to bed.
A few minutes later in pops Give The Bitch A Ring (G-Bar) saying that she's needs to piss and when she's done G.O.I.N. and I need to come out with her, Ass Packa and Hasher Aaron (? could be wrong on the name). We politely decline until she offers to pay for our drinks. Ok, sure, I'll go!
We jump in a car and head to a gay bar (what is it with hashers and gay bars?) where G-Bar get's charged a cover (ha ha!). We go in, get beer and watch cross dressers fake sing Diana Ross and Celine Dion songs (?) and what-not.
We congregate upstairs which is all hip-techno-like, drink more and chat. None of us straight guys got hit on once while there. So I figure we're either really unattractive to gay guys, or we exude an aura of straightness that's like DEET for mosquitoes on gay guys. Doesn't really matter, I go to G-Bar for more drinks. She gives me a wise-ass line, I throw one back, she says, "you're not getting laid." and I say, "wasn't in the plan."
...later on she says she plans on molesting me.
...She's far too drunk to follow through, ha!
We all go back to Ass Packa and her boyfriend's place, they're in the middle of packing to move to Scottsdale, AZ (watch out Phoenix H3!) with G-Bar. There I kick major ass at Mario Kart Wii, then they pull out a mattress for me to sleep on. G-Bar's passed out on the couch, finding out the next day she slept in dog piss. Oops!
That reminds me, more cool hash dogs, Frida (Penis and No Blow's) and Brittney (Ass Packa's boyfriend's).
The next day we drive over to I Iz Ez's to pick up the cars, I get my phone which I forgot in Ez's place (thanks Ez!), I drive around town one last time, have lunch at Town Topic, then head down South to Fayetteville, Arkansas! (Which I gave the low-down on in my last post).
Today I arrived in Little Rock, Arkansas, and in about an hour I hope to meet with some hashers for their Hump Hash. Though it doesn't look like there will be a trail (should I offer?), at least there will be drinkin'!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Sittin' in Fayetteville, Arkansas
So, right now I'm at a Subaru dealership where yesterday I drove by to
make an oil change appointment (have I driven 3000 miles already?).
Turns out the man at the front desk is married to a harriette named
Butt Smear Wedgeworth! They invited me over for a dinner last night
and gave me crash space. It was the craziest thing ever and happened
just because Marcus (dealership guy) saw my On-On magnet, yelled
"On-On!" and asked if I was a hasher!
Southern hospitality is in full swing!
I'm going to rewind a bit in my next post, and go into deatil about
the blast I had in Kansas City with those hashers, but at the moment
Marcus, Butt Smear, their 2 yr old and myself are going out to
breakfast! Go Razorbacks!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Colo (it's RAD yo)
So, following a tortuous drive north through New Mexico, I arrive in
Colorado, noticing an instant change in scenery, temperature and
overall calming down of things. Knowing that there's a Pike's Peak H3
trail the next day I manuver my way through the ever winding streets
looking for someplace to set up shop.
Instead I go to the nearest theater (that I could see from the
highway) and watch Harold & Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay.
Excellent movie, I recommend it, especially if you saw the first one
since the start of Gitmo is directly after the events of the first
movie.
Anyways, on my way out of the theater I Google (it's a word too, not
just a website!) Colorado, hash) and find out that the Colorado Kimchi
Hashers meet and drink Fridays at the Artic Craft Brewery, owned by 7
Second Pump and home of the On-On Ale, brewed for hashers, by hashers.
I down a few ales and while chatting with 7 Second Pump, in comes MILF
and his gal, Bicycle Bleeder. A couple more beers and MILF offers to
board me for the night. How frekin' cool! We continue to drink until 7
Second Pump kicks us out.
I wake up late the next day, just in time to jump in my car, grab some
nosh and drive to the start of trail.
This was supposed to be Bloody Z's big bash, an A to Z 26 shotcheck
trail, but as MILF and I discovered the night before, Z was being
'detained' in Washington and couldn't make his own trail
(dun-dun-duuuun!).
However, Pike's Peak hashers are a resourceful bunch and managed to
set up a last minute trail. It was a good 4-5 miler and not being
accustomed to a higher altitude, my butt was thoroughly kicked.
Colorado gave me my first good water crossing on my trip. Going twice
over a fairly large river. Not deep, but a good 20-25 feet across. It
reminded me a lot of the river crossed during the LVHHH 1000th. The
only downer that I ran across was the bar chosen as a start point was
shut down a couple weeks prior. Oops hares!
Religion was similar to my home Hash in Vegas and took place on the
band stage at our ending bar. Fittingly enough, "24 Hours Ago" was a
hit as a hash song.
After On-Afters, I went to see Iron Man (great flick! Kinda surprising
for a comic book movie) and, unable to reach MILF; I zenned my way to
the Artic Craft Brewery and sat around chatting and drinking until
almost 1 a.m. (the sour there is to kill for, and he brews an 11%
milkstout!)
I purchased a shirt and John (7 Second Pump) was kind enough to give
me a 6-pack of On-On Ale for the road and an Artic Craft Brewery
glass! I'll have to make a point to see if he can't get some beer out
to the next Lee's Beer Experience...
Slept very comfortably at a Day's Inn arounf the corner before waking
up just in time again to nosh and drive the 80 odd miles to Sunday's
trail run by the Boulder Hash.
I seem to have adjusted well from the day prior, and coupled with some
very intuitive decisions made at checks, I found myself quite often up
with the FRB's (On-One! On-Two... Hare Arrow!). Up hills, down steep
inclines, across roads and teasing us all with a run alongside a creek
and no water crossing, but one hell of a checkback 69 to keep the pack
together! I was beat and inpressed by the end. Boulder Has also gave
me my first good blood on trail. Not just scratches, but a nice flow
from my lower leg! (Should I be excited for bleeding? I am!)
Circle was held just off the Platte River (?) with much gusto by the
GM (whose name escapes me now).
I had the good (mis)fortune of meeting many fantastic hashers who
offered me travel tips, mentioned hashes to check out in Europe and
asked about how fellow Vegas hashers are doing.
Standing out was Do Little, wearing a Vegas Rat Pack HHH shirt that he
said Hunka Hunka Burnin' Shit gave him a few years back. That was
really cool to run into.
From there I got ahold of Happy Sock who gave me directions to a place
she lives with 2 roomates. One a non-hasher and the other Nappy Headed
Whore, a cool gal with an amazing dog (Monty?). All 3 ladies had dogs,
but Nappy's just blew me away for some reason. Much like Jake (Fatty
and Deep Dish's dog) did in Tucson.
It was late, we were all tired, so I took the couch and everyone went
to their respective rooms and crashed.
The next day I went up to Pkie's Peak and went for a run. Following
Barr's trail about a mile and a half (3/4?) up the 13 mile trail that
tops the mountain was intensely brutal, but I must admit one the
panting stopped and I could breathe somewhat normally again, the view
was outstanding and I felt incredibly refreshed! Coming down the
mountain I found a cell phone and (after answering a call from the
owner's daughter!) turned it in to the Cog RY Yard only to run into
the owner while getting in my car. I can only hope if I lose my phone
on this trip, someone does the same for me.
After the run, I went to Garden Of The Gods, taking pictures and
having a sandwich before driving up to the Cave Of The Winds and
paying too much for an excellent underground tour. To be honest
though, despite the prospect of being lost in a maze of caverns, the
guided tour did leave me wanting to explore alone rather than tag
along in a group.
Returning to Manitou Springs, I filled my water bottles with fresh
spring geyser water. Bubbling forth and sometimes spraying violently
from pump faucets, it tastes like Perrier only without the self
importance.
Happy Sock called while I was galavanting around and offered to take
me out for a drink when she was done at work. With a chance to stay
another day in this beautiful state (you could see Pike's Peak
hovering in the background of almost everything) I couldn't refuse.
Besides, I wanted another go at Pike's Peak and a chance to check out
the Anasazi cave dwellings. So we drank, talked, met up with Nappy and
some of her softball buddies, talked and drank some more, until it
grew late, then we all headed back to the house and slept well
(comfiest couch EVER!).
Today (Tuesday) I went back to Pike's Peak, but forewent running it,
vowing that next time I'm this way I'll do the entire run. I must
admit, I felt very drawn to stay and take a couple days to backpack up
it, but the town of Manitou Springs has really captured my imagination
and I was already finding it hard enough to leave today.
So, instead, I drank more natural spring water, climbed up, in and
around Anasazi cave dwellings and listened and looked for ghosts at
Miramar Castle (nothing!).
Leaving Colorado late in the afternoon I drove East on Route 24,
turning onto I-70 and stopped at this really nice campground just shy
of the Colorado/Kansas border.
There's lightning in the sky all around me so I put up my rainfly, and
now it's time to sleep. Tomorrow, Oatmeal and more driving. I expect
to hit Topeka at worst, Kansas City at best.
Point of note: Colorado has given me my best gas mileage of the trip
so far with 29.33 mpg!
Colorado, noticing an instant change in scenery, temperature and
overall calming down of things. Knowing that there's a Pike's Peak H3
trail the next day I manuver my way through the ever winding streets
looking for someplace to set up shop.
Instead I go to the nearest theater (that I could see from the
highway) and watch Harold & Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay.
Excellent movie, I recommend it, especially if you saw the first one
since the start of Gitmo is directly after the events of the first
movie.
Anyways, on my way out of the theater I Google (it's a word too, not
just a website!) Colorado, hash) and find out that the Colorado Kimchi
Hashers meet and drink Fridays at the Artic Craft Brewery, owned by 7
Second Pump and home of the On-On Ale, brewed for hashers, by hashers.
I down a few ales and while chatting with 7 Second Pump, in comes MILF
and his gal, Bicycle Bleeder. A couple more beers and MILF offers to
board me for the night. How frekin' cool! We continue to drink until 7
Second Pump kicks us out.
I wake up late the next day, just in time to jump in my car, grab some
nosh and drive to the start of trail.
This was supposed to be Bloody Z's big bash, an A to Z 26 shotcheck
trail, but as MILF and I discovered the night before, Z was being
'detained' in Washington and couldn't make his own trail
(dun-dun-duuuun!).
However, Pike's Peak hashers are a resourceful bunch and managed to
set up a last minute trail. It was a good 4-5 miler and not being
accustomed to a higher altitude, my butt was thoroughly kicked.
Colorado gave me my first good water crossing on my trip. Going twice
over a fairly large river. Not deep, but a good 20-25 feet across. It
reminded me a lot of the river crossed during the LVHHH 1000th. The
only downer that I ran across was the bar chosen as a start point was
shut down a couple weeks prior. Oops hares!
Religion was similar to my home Hash in Vegas and took place on the
band stage at our ending bar. Fittingly enough, "24 Hours Ago" was a
hit as a hash song.
After On-Afters, I went to see Iron Man (great flick! Kinda surprising
for a comic book movie) and, unable to reach MILF; I zenned my way to
the Artic Craft Brewery and sat around chatting and drinking until
almost 1 a.m. (the sour there is to kill for, and he brews an 11%
milkstout!)
I purchased a shirt and John (7 Second Pump) was kind enough to give
me a 6-pack of On-On Ale for the road and an Artic Craft Brewery
glass! I'll have to make a point to see if he can't get some beer out
to the next Lee's Beer Experience...
Slept very comfortably at a Day's Inn arounf the corner before waking
up just in time again to nosh and drive the 80 odd miles to Sunday's
trail run by the Boulder Hash.
I seem to have adjusted well from the day prior, and coupled with some
very intuitive decisions made at checks, I found myself quite often up
with the FRB's (On-One! On-Two... Hare Arrow!). Up hills, down steep
inclines, across roads and teasing us all with a run alongside a creek
and no water crossing, but one hell of a checkback 69 to keep the pack
together! I was beat and inpressed by the end. Boulder Has also gave
me my first good blood on trail. Not just scratches, but a nice flow
from my lower leg! (Should I be excited for bleeding? I am!)
Circle was held just off the Platte River (?) with much gusto by the
GM (whose name escapes me now).
I had the good (mis)fortune of meeting many fantastic hashers who
offered me travel tips, mentioned hashes to check out in Europe and
asked about how fellow Vegas hashers are doing.
Standing out was Do Little, wearing a Vegas Rat Pack HHH shirt that he
said Hunka Hunka Burnin' Shit gave him a few years back. That was
really cool to run into.
From there I got ahold of Happy Sock who gave me directions to a place
she lives with 2 roomates. One a non-hasher and the other Nappy Headed
Whore, a cool gal with an amazing dog (Monty?). All 3 ladies had dogs,
but Nappy's just blew me away for some reason. Much like Jake (Fatty
and Deep Dish's dog) did in Tucson.
It was late, we were all tired, so I took the couch and everyone went
to their respective rooms and crashed.
The next day I went up to Pkie's Peak and went for a run. Following
Barr's trail about a mile and a half (3/4?) up the 13 mile trail that
tops the mountain was intensely brutal, but I must admit one the
panting stopped and I could breathe somewhat normally again, the view
was outstanding and I felt incredibly refreshed! Coming down the
mountain I found a cell phone and (after answering a call from the
owner's daughter!) turned it in to the Cog RY Yard only to run into
the owner while getting in my car. I can only hope if I lose my phone
on this trip, someone does the same for me.
After the run, I went to Garden Of The Gods, taking pictures and
having a sandwich before driving up to the Cave Of The Winds and
paying too much for an excellent underground tour. To be honest
though, despite the prospect of being lost in a maze of caverns, the
guided tour did leave me wanting to explore alone rather than tag
along in a group.
Returning to Manitou Springs, I filled my water bottles with fresh
spring geyser water. Bubbling forth and sometimes spraying violently
from pump faucets, it tastes like Perrier only without the self
importance.
Happy Sock called while I was galavanting around and offered to take
me out for a drink when she was done at work. With a chance to stay
another day in this beautiful state (you could see Pike's Peak
hovering in the background of almost everything) I couldn't refuse.
Besides, I wanted another go at Pike's Peak and a chance to check out
the Anasazi cave dwellings. So we drank, talked, met up with Nappy and
some of her softball buddies, talked and drank some more, until it
grew late, then we all headed back to the house and slept well
(comfiest couch EVER!).
Today (Tuesday) I went back to Pike's Peak, but forewent running it,
vowing that next time I'm this way I'll do the entire run. I must
admit, I felt very drawn to stay and take a couple days to backpack up
it, but the town of Manitou Springs has really captured my imagination
and I was already finding it hard enough to leave today.
So, instead, I drank more natural spring water, climbed up, in and
around Anasazi cave dwellings and listened and looked for ghosts at
Miramar Castle (nothing!).
Leaving Colorado late in the afternoon I drove East on Route 24,
turning onto I-70 and stopped at this really nice campground just shy
of the Colorado/Kansas border.
There's lightning in the sky all around me so I put up my rainfly, and
now it's time to sleep. Tomorrow, Oatmeal and more driving. I expect
to hit Topeka at worst, Kansas City at best.
Point of note: Colorado has given me my best gas mileage of the trip
so far with 29.33 mpg!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
El Paso
So, a quick recap.
I drove into Las Cruces, NM on Monday, stayed the night and continued
into El Paso, TX on Tuesday.
I got there bout 30 hours before the Border Jumpers Hash started, so I
got a room at the Mesa Inn, where the hashers stayed during TexMex.
What a dump! The first night my bed was missing a post, the second
night (new room) bedbugs. I needed to switch rooms around 1 am because
of them, all over...
Combined with a not so hot time strolling to and through El Juarez
(almost didn't get back in because I didn't bring a passport), and I
can honestly say El Paso isn't on the top of my list as a city.
On the other hand, it was the first place I ran outside of a hash and
I did find a nice neighborhood, build in the late 60's/ early 70's.
They also have a kick ass hash with the border jumpers. The trail was
short (2 miles), overly well marked, and somehow kept everyone
together by the end. The GM, Butt Darts is a great guy and gave the
lowdown on the upcoming weekend.
I wasn't the only visitor either, as this gal from the Okinawa Hash
was stopping through. With a Japanese name, I couldn't remember it,
but given the background on the literal translation of "Loud Pussy", I
ended up just calling her, "Queef In The Canyon."
Good fun!
The next day, I took a 2 day drive north through New Mexico, stopping
only to check out the Hot Springs in a town called Truth Or
Consequences and to camp overnight (and freeze my ass off) just North
of Santa Fe.
Got into Colorado Springs yesterday, and I'll save all those goodies
for the next update!
On-On
I drove into Las Cruces, NM on Monday, stayed the night and continued
into El Paso, TX on Tuesday.
I got there bout 30 hours before the Border Jumpers Hash started, so I
got a room at the Mesa Inn, where the hashers stayed during TexMex.
What a dump! The first night my bed was missing a post, the second
night (new room) bedbugs. I needed to switch rooms around 1 am because
of them, all over...
Combined with a not so hot time strolling to and through El Juarez
(almost didn't get back in because I didn't bring a passport), and I
can honestly say El Paso isn't on the top of my list as a city.
On the other hand, it was the first place I ran outside of a hash and
I did find a nice neighborhood, build in the late 60's/ early 70's.
They also have a kick ass hash with the border jumpers. The trail was
short (2 miles), overly well marked, and somehow kept everyone
together by the end. The GM, Butt Darts is a great guy and gave the
lowdown on the upcoming weekend.
I wasn't the only visitor either, as this gal from the Okinawa Hash
was stopping through. With a Japanese name, I couldn't remember it,
but given the background on the literal translation of "Loud Pussy", I
ended up just calling her, "Queef In The Canyon."
Good fun!
The next day, I took a 2 day drive north through New Mexico, stopping
only to check out the Hot Springs in a town called Truth Or
Consequences and to camp overnight (and freeze my ass off) just North
of Santa Fe.
Got into Colorado Springs yesterday, and I'll save all those goodies
for the next update!
On-On
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