Google Maps can suck my balls

So, I'm in South Jersey and figure I've got roughly 6 hours to get to the Ridgefield H3. I take a detour into Cherry Hill to look for a non-existant White Castle (the one that's in Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle). With some help from Snatchsquash, I discover it's not there. Google Maps tells me that I've got roughly 2 hours of driving from where I'm at to where the Ridgefield hash starts.
I take the extra (presumably) 4 hours... no, check that, I decide to narrow my window down to 2 hours to try and find the closest White Castle and see if it's, "the one."
While driving I periodically check my distance and as I get closer to where the White Castle is supposed to be, I noticed that my driving time to Ridgefield (which was actually CLOSER than where I started from originally) now jumped from 2 to 3 hours. Oh fuck, I'm going to miss the hash!
So I divert away from the White Castle excursion and decide to high tail it back to the 95 and aim for the hash with the hopes of getting there on time.
Yeah... right.
Googlemaps has it's own fucktard idea of using EVERY SINGLE TOLL ROAD IN THE STATES OF NEW JERSEY AND NEW YORK to get me to where I want to go.
This means that it, A) adds another hour to my driving time because traffic gets slowed to a standstill at the gates
and
B) It costs me around $15 to get there. This includes a TWO MILE SECTION OF ROAD in New York that costs me $10.
I paid $10 to cross the Washington Bridge, seriously, what the fuck!? Am I supposed to feel some sort of self inspiring importance for either myself or the bridge because it cost me $10 to fucking drive across it into New York? Fuck that shit.
And for the time that I spent in traffic (roughly another 2 hours + added to the original driving time) I could've easily driven around the damn city and saved my money.
Google Maps sent me straight into a $15 traffic jam, turning a 2 hour drive into a 5 hour drive, costing me not only cash, but gas, my health (this shit is stressful, yo) and most importantly, THE HASH!
I ended up over an hour and a half late to the start. I threw my number on the back of my car and started walking trail.
About .5 miles in I get a call from Dancing Fool letting me know that everyone's at the lot doing a car run. I jog back and say my, "hi's!" before following everyone up a steep winding hill to the On-In.
It appears I missed a fine shiggy trail through the backwoods of Conneticut...
Everyone is thoroughly nice though and they set me up at a nearby hasher's house who is out of town. I expect to tent in the backyard, but there's a house sitter there who actually let's me crash on the couch simply because I'm a hasher. Good man, Lou!
The next day I went into NY via train (car's at the train lot) and despite posting on the NYCH3's Yahoo groups a couple days in advance, didn't get to meet anyone until today after trail.
I bought a ticket to Liberty Island (The Statue of Liberty's homestead) at 9 a.m., fully expecting to be back in town and able to hash at 1 p.m.
I did not anticipate a 2 hour wait in line to get on the ferry. As I left for the island I noticed that it was almost noon, so I posted that I wasn't going to make trail.
Afterwards I took the train to the On-In, fortunately there were hashers still there. Had a couple beers and introduced myself, then everyone went on their merry way.
I've since gotten to walk through Central Park. Met a couple parkour guys and got to injure myself jumping on a fence (good fun!) before taking a nap on a park bench.
I'm using a hotel's internet right now to do this and hashspace, then I'm going to take a 4 hour nap before heading out to NBC's studios on Rockefeller Plaza and trying to snag a standby ticket for Conan O' Brian!